How to Naturally Lubricate Your Vagina

Let’s talk about your vagina ladies! Your holy grail; your girl power.

We need to be more comfortable talking about our version of the male package. We notice the common issues shared amongst women across the world, yet we ignore the conversations that need to be held in regards to those issues.

Around 17% of women aged 18-50 experience problems with vaginal dryness during sex.

Women’s Health Concern 

A concern that many women have is there vagina’s natural lubrication. A silent problem popularly known as vaginal dryness.

I, myself, do not struggle with vaginal dryness. But, for the purposes of learning if I can improve, I conducted a self-study.

For 3 months I worked on increasing my natural lubrication to something as moist as a waterfall. And, here is how:


Drinking plenty of water helps with everything. I know! I can not stress it enough: in order to retain moisture, you must be hydrated.  Likewise, in the last 3 months I have increased my water consumption by 40% and I definitely can see the changes in my body in general. Especially the smell and lubrication of my vagina.

No Soaps, No Douches

This is common practice for me. I only cleanse my vagina with water. And, if there is anything that is the devil to your vagina, it would be douches, soap, and how you clean your vagina.


Studies show that there are a correlation between vaginal douching and its risks to vagina as an agent to vaginal dryness. This is due to the fragrance and toxic chemicals that come in contact with vaginal mucous membranes. Since those mucous membranes are absorptive, they take in the chemicals. Over time, drying up from those chemicals.


Soaps that contain chemicals and fragrances should not be near a system as PH sensitive as the vagina.


This is common practice for me: being intentional when cleaning my vagina.

You have to be more intentional with your vaginal cleaning and adopt careful cleaning of her. I:

  • Do not over wash. The rule of thumb is no more than twice a day, as it self cleanses.
  • Make sure to wipe front to back to ensure no spread of bacteria from the anus to the vagina.
  • Wipe with a clean, hot rag after intercourse.


As sexy as I love feeling in underwear, there are a few I had to do without in this experiment. I had to eliminate high cut styles panties (boy shorts, thongs, cheeksters, and g-strings), tight underwear, and any underwear with synthetic fabrics (lace or satin).

Unfortunately, that was pretty much my entire underwear draw, so, I wore seamless underwear 10% of the time, I devoted 10% of my time to sexy, lace underwear, and I free-balled the remainder.


Yes, I said it!

I did not wear underwear, so I can let my vagina breathe and be free of anything constricting. To expand, if the place or event I was going to had no risk of me exploiting my nether regions, I did not wear any underwear. This was a challenge in itself, especially being how much my vaginal lubrication increased due to this study. But, that is a story we can save for another post.

Kegel Exercises

This is an exercise done to strengthen and tighten the pelvic floor muscles in your vagina. They can be done anywhere, whenever, and no one will notice. In turn, promoting the overall health function of tissues in your vagina. In due time, this promotes an increase in vaginal lubrication.


In order to recognize a notable difference, I increased my Shirls time from once a week, to twice a day. The more frequent I masturbate, the wetter my vagina gets throughout the day even after cleaning up the residual fluids from orgasm. By the time I got into my sex session mode, I was drenched from the slightest kiss behind neck or passionate stare into my eyes.


Foreplay is the root to comfortable sex. You can not just dive in to the water without prior lessons. If you do, you increase your likelihood of drowning. Pun intended! Build your sexual desire before having sexual intercourse. Extending your foreplay will help with becoming more aroused psychologically and physiologically. Just, get the juices flowing!

Woman-to-woman, hopefully, my self-exploration can help alleviate any concerns you may have with your vagina. Happy lubricating!

#NOLADarling Series: The Non-conventional Feminists and Dickologist

Lets talk the inner image of Nola Darling

Close your eyes, I’ll wait. Take a second and envision #BlackGirlMagic. Now open them. What ever you thought it was, erase it. If you didn’t find her, here she is:

#BlackGirlMagic is Nola Darling, honey.


Dipped in honey, sprinkled with chocolate, dawning tantalizing honey-brown eyes, as I watch the eccentric, earth-toned Nola Darling, I can only envision my spirit animal #BlackGirlMagic. Nola Darling, you are so me and I am so you. Hello, my “sex positive, polyamorous, pansexual”  hyper-sexual twin!

As I release my Snapchat question and answers on some “the truth must be spoken” type shit, the universe and my snapchatters,  led me to the 2017 Sex in the City, She’s Gotta Have It.  So, Sese, Antwan, and the many spectators who put me on, this is for you.

Post major release of emotions: rape-ish, death of a loved one, end of a relationship


Post major release of positive emotions acceptance: offers, graduation, celebration of single-hood, start of graduate school,

I am at the stage of:

Continue reading “#NOLADarling Series: The Non-conventional Feminists and Dickologist”

I Choose to be a “Slut”.

Feature image @awfulmadre via tumblr.

I did not get the chance to be promiscuous, what I consider “promiscuity”, when I was younger (despite the rumors your ears picked up). I kept my sexuality at a low by subjecting to long-term relationships. A serial monogamist. So, since the good ol’ day of losing my innocence,  I maintained long-term, monogamous, relationships. Until, someone broke my heart, again.

I was done! I was done with trying; I was over looking for “the man” to spend the rest of my life with. So, I accepted that I would be

Continue reading “I Choose to be a “Slut”.”

Friend With Benefits: The Good

A friend is someone you trust; someone who trusts you; someone you share history, circumstances, and mutual interests with; someone you develop experiences with; someone you may be compatible with. Some “friends” go beyond that by becoming sexually involved. This, new, potential relationship is labeled “Friend with Benefits” (FWB).

Individuals that pursue this type of relationship is:

  1. Too busy to invest time into a committed relationship.
  2. Recovering from a past break up and desire sexual intimacy.
  3. Interested in someone who does not show interest and believes sex without commitment may spark said interest.

Some may think these individuals are purposefully avoiding relationships. Others assume it is just a phase that women or men develop following a horrid break up. Regardless of the negative connotations associated with your current arrangement, it is beneficial.


Benefits of a FWB

  1. Friendship

You are in an arrangement with someone who knows you and someone you can fully trust. You are comfortable with them and you can be your true self with them.

  1. Freedom

You are free to do what you want and when you want. You are not bounded to someone. You can be yourself and in a space free of judgment.

  1. Convenience 

You do not have to scour social media outlets such as Tinder for your next random sex partner when you need to knock your rocks off. There is no need to jump from bar to bar, drunken, in search for something sweet to soothe your needs. When you need it, give your FWB a call. Since it is an arrangement,  they will be willing and ready to satisfy your cravings.

  1. Sex,  DUH!

Solo sex is no fun! Sex with someone you know is better. Since there is no commitment, you can feel comfortable in having liberated, safe sex, rather than hooking up with random strangers for a quick fix.

FWB’s is a real connection.  It’s not you scrolling through Tinder liking every random persons picture in hopes someone will do the same. This person is there and will always be for as long as you want.  So, if you aren’t feeling “committed relationships” lately,think of a potential FWB. But, know the cons to a FWB as well.