#NOLADarling Series: The Non-conventional Feminists and Dickologist

Lets talk the inner image of Nola Darling

David Lee/Netflix

Close your eyes, I’ll wait. Take a second and envision #BlackGirlMagic. Now open them. What ever you thought it was, erase it. If you didn’t find her, here she is:

#BlackGirlMagic is Nola Darling, honey.


Dipped in honey, sprinkled with chocolate, dawning tantalizing honey-brown eyes, as I watch the eccentric, earth-toned Nola Darling, I can only envision my spirit animal #BlackGirlMagic. Nola Darling, you are so me and I am so you. Hello, my “sex positive, polyamorous, pansexual”  hyper-sexual twin!

As I release my Snapchat question and answers on some “the truth must be spoken” type shit, the universe and my snapchatters,  led me to the 2017 Sex in the City, She’s Gotta Have It.  So, Sese, Antwan, and the many spectators who put me on, this is for you.

Post major release of emotions: rape-ish, death of a loved one, end of a relationship


Post major release of positive emotions acceptance: offers, graduation, celebration of single-hood, start of graduate school,

I am at the stage of:

“I am dealing with who I am now” – Nola Darling

As I cultivate my love-bed, I glorify my mood setting candle lighting ceremony. My room, just as yours, is my place of true love-making. The passion intertwines with the sparks of the wicking Vanilla-bean Yankee Candle just as yours exude passion in your polyamorous love, fuck making. Your awe inspiring values in your love, fuck bed, I applaud.

As I discern my true self I, too, dismiss monogamy. I mean:

“Do I have to give up an essential part of my self-expression in order to survive”

Your ability to expose your polyamourous belief to your friends, despite their rejection of so, I applaud. I visit my ever changing views of monogamy and open the gates to polyamory and can not fathom bringing my lovers together, in one room, for a meal! Balls! Nola Darling! You have BALLS!

It is clear you have this hold on the men that enter your life. As you consider yourself one for no labels:

“Or dickologist”

You sexual ability is second to none. You opened your doors to 3 levels of sexual satisfaction. You have your lover, your friend with benefits, and your fuck buddy. In some way, you found the best of all your sexual needs divided amongst three different beings.

While your sex life is only one aspect of your identity that the viewers may only focus on, your independent, sexual being is annihilated by your diligence in the hustle. See, Nola with the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, hustles alludes her inner “I’m a independent black woman” and even though I got a man to provide, I can do “for myself”. The true representation of work all day and grind all night with a dash of sugar daddy. You are truly:amaze

However, I can not help to note that you neglected the sugar daddy part of your black, independent, womanhood. You are, in fact, not liberated Nola Darling. When all failed, you went running to the one man you knew who would save you because of his farsighted love for you. Using him, sure, but you should have acknowledge that he is the guiding light to your wrecked ship. And this, I wish the writers of She’s Gotta Have It noted.

You speak:

“All the black female form wants to be is, free”

As a fellow non-conventional feminist, thank you for this. My take is the depiction of female form in our cultures most popular form of expression: Hip-Hop. My ode to Hip-Hop goes a little something like this:

My first love
I laid eyes on you on the day I etched your name on a paper to enlighten the masses
From the Bambaataa joint to the Beastie Boys tracks
You were my first love
Until your words became disrespectful to the very women who support you


To keep it short and a little less poetic than intended, the exposure of timeless hip-hop tracks that does not revolve around “the girls, the cars, the golds” throughout the season, sparked said ode. All we want is for our form to be free rather than downplayed as some object of fantasy. We want to be able to express our sense of black and beauty, without being over sexualized.

When I look back at the season I realize, it was necessary. Black women, Black feminists needs Nola Darling. Your unique journey through Black womanhood coupled with a dynamic friend group and powerful sexual relationships is a voice we can not fathom. Looking forward to Season 2 already.

Because Nola Darling, I am you, you are me, and my name is Shirley fucking Dorsainvil.

A series inspired by the pivotal character, Nola Darling, in She’s Gotta Have It.

Feature image: David Lee/Netflix, modified

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