As Issac Newton says, for every force there is an . . . opposite force. Yes! I am applying Newton’s third law of motion to the foundation of your thriving, or not, Friend with Benefits (FWB) arrangement. All the physics enthusiasts, refrain from trying to refute my previous statement because I DO NOT CARE! Nevertheless, we perused the pros to pursuing a FWB. But, just as gravity, “what goes up, must come down”. So, it is only right that you know the cons of FWB.
You’re not the only one
You think you are the only “friend” they have. Frequently, you find yourself craving satisfaction of your sexual needs while eating a box of pizza at 3AM. Unfortunately, your FWB is not responding or you get the horrid reply, “No”. This is your friend, you know their routine. Usually, 3AM is pillow talk time; 3AM is come over and keep me company time. But, they said, “No!”.
Its ok, take a moment to eat your fourth slice of pizza.
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OK, back to this post. SURPRISE! You are not the only one. Your FWB has something similar to an insurance policy. The discount was no strings attached. Coverage includes a replacement FWB in the event the previous FWB accidentally grows feelings or grows attached.
As much as you want there to be, there is no security in having a FWB. As soon as someone is ready to leave, they go without telling you a word. Truthfully, they do not have to tell you when they are leaving. Because, besides everything you two may have been through, you were just friends.
This is an occasional hook-up, hang out, relationship. Feelings should not exist. But, lets face it, emotions are there. Eventually, someone is going to fall in love. Frankly, it is difficult to push the emotions away– unless you have a personality disorder–especially considering the sexual attachment that increases as you have more sex with your FWB.
“No strings attached” also means “no future of possible attached strings”. The FWB arrangement, rarely, develops into a long-term romantic relationships. So, do not establish this arrangement if your goal is to romance your friend into a relationship.
Breaking up a friendship
Typically this arrangement is established with a good friend. We all know that sex ruins mostly everything; all relationship types. Imagine the detrimental affects it may have to a great friendship. I picture, World War Z damaging. If you feel a little crush coming on, its time to cut the sex. Lets face it! Are you ready to lose the friendship you have because of your crush?
Pregnancy or STDs
Many individuals assume there is no need for protection in a FWB. Awkwardly, protection is a necessity in a FWB arrangement. It is evident that you trust your friend and hope for support during your unwanted pregnancy or your suffering from contracting an STD or STI, but, they are just a friend.
There are many benefits to having a FWB. But, note the cons before you go for it. Do not get emotionally involved, recognize the lack of security, no potential for a romantic relationships, and understand the risks of losing the friendship and potential unwanted pregnancy or STDs/STIs. Before you guys start sleeping together, have a talk where you establish an understanding of the arrangement. Then, ENJOY!